Dorcas Achi(Mrs)
The issue of DNA, testing, result and indeed Paternity confirmation is one that must be approached with empathy,maturity and understanding for all the parties involved.
Women have absolutely nothing to gain from a paternity test instead some dishonest and fraudulent women have potentially everything to lose after the paternity of their children are confirmed, this is why many women are scared of a DNA test.
However since a woman is certain that a child is biologically hers, the man also has the right to know the truth and facts of a child or his children’s Paternity. As it takes two to Tango. More so marriage in its simplest sense and without prejudice to cultural, religious and other social biases is the union of a man and the woman. If only marriage is still the way God originally instituted it to be, there will be absolutely NO need for a DNA test because It is tantamount to lack of trust, unfaithfulness, infidelity, lack of contentment, lust, uncontrollable desires, etc that necessitates a DNA test.
Women complain about heartbreak, but no heartbreak is as heinous as fathering, nurturing, raising, bringing up a child as your biological child and then suddenly waking up one morning to discover that the child is not yours.
The enormous costs of training and maintenance incurred over the years in School fees, groceries and the likes are not things one can easily write off as bad debts. Days, weeks, years and sometimes decades of caring, protecting, defending, attending to and shouldering manifold responsibilities of a child are not a barrel of laughs.
There is nothing wrong with a man training another man’s children, but he has to know and resolve to do that willingly and not deceitfully or through manipulation.
The trend of events in modern times seem to suggest mandatory paternity test at birth to prevent men from denying paternity and women from imposing the paternity of a child on a man they desire. In this regard DNA test should be compulsory for every new born at birth even before the birth certificate is issued to save men from future heartbreak, headache and trauma.
However in most of African cultures every child born by a married woman belongs to her husband because he paid her dowry. In any case, it is equally human, that in a situation where a man discovers that the child that calls him father is not his biological child, he accepts him or her as his child and save the child from emotional trauma by handling the matter with maturity.This is necessary because the man is the one that will to a large extent determine who owns the child. A child may not belong to a man biologically but his child psychologically and that means a lot.
Though a man deserves knowledge of the truth but it is emotionally traumatizing to tell a “faithful”wife that he desires to conduct a DNA test to determine the paternity of his children. It is a disrespect on the dignity and integrity of a faithful woman. And Some women find it difficult to remain in that marriage thereafter while some women after proving their faithfulness and loyalty may demand for a divorce because without trust there is no basis of a marital relationship.
However, paternity fraud in Nigeria is deeper than one can imagine. Many women have concluded that DNA is a devil’s strategy to destroy homes.They oppose paternity test because of issues relating to prostitution, adultery, trust, privacy, birth scams and family dynamics.
Women should therefore avoid a past that will hurt their future. DNA palaver has ruined many beautiful marriages, shattered dreams and broken peaceful homes. When homes disintegrate, the society collapses.
Indeed “No secret is actually a secret”It is just a matter of time because Infidelity cannot be
hidden for long.The world is a small place that runs in circles. It is wickedness to lie to a man about his supposed child’s paternity. Faithfulness puts one on a safe side, away from unnecessary guilt and tension, stabilizes one’s health, ensures one’s peace of mind and prolong one’s life especially in marriage.
D. S. Achi
